The caller ID flashed up on my phone as it rang.
“Hello stranger,” I answered.
Are we still OK?” he asked.
“Of course, we are,” I replied.
The last time my friend and I had spoken, our opinions had vastly differed. Normally, we conversed about spirituality, growth, peace, love, healing and falling off the meditation wagon, but this time we’d veered into politics and race – experiential perspectives from past and present lives. We agreed to pick up the discussion where we left off, when we had more time. But, we didn’t. Life had become even busier.
His 15 year old daughter had developed a tumour.
It was in her womb.
Understandably, she was scared. Her and her parents’ lives had become a series of clinical and mental health appointments, as she’d also developed bulimia. Plus, she was grappling with her identity, as she became aware of being sexually attracted to both boys and girls. Her parents were supportive, but self-acceptance was key on this journey to discovering herself.
I told my friend that I’d share some META-Health information with him, if he wished, so his family could have some insight into what may be causing the growth, from a biopsychosocial perspective. META-Health as a scientific framework:
- provides themes relating to different biological conflicts that create dis-ease in our mind body system. These themes are mapped to individual organ tissues within the body
- details which layer(s) of the brain is connected to the organ tissue we wish to explore. By understanding how each brain layer reacts in the stress and healing phases, and which symptoms can appear in those phases, we have precise data to identify the dis-ease’s progress on the stress to health continuum.
META-Health gifts us with the tools that enable specific analysis, that as health ‘detectives’, we can use to precisely determine the root cause of dis-ease.
Knowledge is power
If we understand how symptoms will behave in both the stress phase and healing phase, and what interventions can help push the needle towards the body regaining a state of balance, we can help to remove fear associated with dis-ease. Knowing what we can expect at each stage of our journey back to health can only empower us to make informed choices about treatment and recovery.
I asked my friend if he knew his daughter’s medical diagnosis – this specific information would enable me to focus on the organ tissue affected. He didn’t know other than it was a big tumour in her womb.
I explained that in the absence of specific health information, I’d talk in generic terms and to just see how it was received by his daughter.
My friend was already aware of the mind body connection and we’d spoken on occasions about META-Health. I started by stating the obvious:
The womb is all about reproduction.
- I explained that the uterus is associated with the brain stem.
- This brain layer has a generic theme of reproduction and survival
- In META-Health, there’s a stress trigger that sends us into the stress phase of dis-ease. Then, if there is resolution to the conflict, the body moves into the regeneration phase, in an attempt to restore health.
As your daughter’s tumour is getting bigger, it suggests that she’s in the stress phase of this dis-ease
I sent him some written information – not too much as to overwhelm him, but enough to reiterate what we’d spoken about on the phone. When I checked in later that evening to see if he’d understood my message, he said it had sent his head spinning, a little. I rang him to clarify which bits he’d found confusing or unclear.
His daughter and wife were with him when he answered my call.
The value of family support
“Here, take my earphones and speak to Tricia,” he said to his daughter.
“No, it’s OK,” I said. I didn’t want a one to one conversation with her. “Put me on speakerphone – that’s if you want to talk to me?”
“Yeah, OK,” she replied.
Given his daughter’s age, and that this wasn’t a consultation, but I was speaking as a friend, I suggested an open dialogue. That way, there was transparency:
- her parents knew exactly what I was saying;
- they could see from her facial expressions when she hadn’t understood what I’d said. During the call, her father provided useful feedback when my words didn’t register with her and then I attempted to explain the same information in a different way.
- if her parents understood, they could go over the conversation again with her at a later date, at the right pace, at the right time and at a level of understanding that was right for her.
We eased into the conversation gently, before I began talking about reproduction and fear of death, as brain stem themes, using storytelling. Her Dad asked what she thought and could she relate to anything I’d said?
His daughter replied that she feared she would die at 16 years old.
She was also scared of becoming pregnant.
I asked how long she’d been scared of dying and being pregnant?
“A long time,” she said, quietly.
When I asked how long, she said since year 7 or 8 [at school]. These fears had started when she was 11 – 12 years old, when her menstrual periods began. Their daughter had feared getting pregnant ever since.
When I asked why she feared becoming pregnant, she didn’t know.
Was this the trigger?
Mum, who had been silent throughout the call, suddenly said, “I know exactly when it was.” Mum explained that her daughter had been watching EastEnders, which is a British soap opera. A teenage pregnancy storyline was written for one of the characters. After watching the drama unfold on television, Mum said their daughter walked into the kitchen and announced, “Mum, I’m worried that I may be pregnant.”
Her mum asked if she had had sex?
“Well, you can’t be pregnant, then, because you have to have sex to make a baby.”
That was the end of the discussion, as far as mum was concerned, but not the end of their daughter’s fears.
I explained to their daughter that our body and mind are a whole system. Our thoughts and emotions can affect our body and, after treatment, if she had the same thoughts and fears, it would be like putting dirty oil into a clean engine. A car won’t perform or drive as well as when you pour clean oil into the engine. It was the best analogy I could think of at the time.
Today, at the time of writing, their daughter is undergoing surgical removal of the tumour.
Supporting their daughter through her surgery and recuperation is the family’s main focus right now.
Letting go of toxic beliefs
Their daughter’s 16th birthday is next month. That’s when the year begins in which she believes she will die.
I advised Dad to take their daughter for hypnotherapy sessions to access her subconscious mind to change her belief and fear of dying at 16 years old. There may be other therapies that are more appropriate, which they can explore together, once she recovers from surgery, but intuitively, I saw who could help them. And that qualified hypnotherapist is already known to them.
As for any spiritual support before their daughter’s surgery, I got the sense that my friend and his wife could use visualisation and intention to send light and colour healing to their daughter’s womb, the night before her surgery. All guided and assisted by angels, which they, and I, believe in. They are doing this in the hope that the tumour will be removed without affecting her reproductive organs – should she wish to have children in the future – while recognising and respecting that this is her soul’s journey. Therefore, with love, if they can, they need to release any attachment to the outcome.
In the end, it doesn’t matter which modality they use, which professional they consult or whether they believe in spirituality or not.
What’s important is that their daughter is supported in making the emotional and cognitive shifts required to assist her body and mind in healing.
With thanks to my friend, who gave his permission to share our conversation on the META-Health website.
Learn to decode the individual root causes, triggers and therapy options for anxiety: study META-Health!